


all the the things that lie within loving your own

by spiraleyezd (Billie_Tyler)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Interrogation, M/M, Metaphysics, Other, Post-Apocalypse, Psychic Bond, Psychic Violence, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billie_Tyler/pseuds/spiraleyezd
Summary: i just think it would be neat if the avatars of the eye and the spiral could simply stop fighting and instead fight and also kiss
Relationships: Helen | The Distortion/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Michael | The Distortion/Jonathan Sims, The Disortion/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably a lot more metaphysical than like, a lot of other ship content. Sexual content is implied, but not required as an interpretation of this fic. Please tell me what you think!

the wires are crossed by fear and what's bad becomes good and what is good no longer has any meaning, not here  
its two fears sinking into each other with bites and claws and sinking into another's Identity feels more like sinking into yourself  
they're not two different fears, they're different facets of the same gem  
it feels like it's coming home, it feels like it's right to them  
jon within helens walls that make up the hotel and knowing her from the inside out, wallpaper curling under his finger tips as two fears play cat and mouse with each other

she says _Won't you play with others?_ and when he says no she says

_Will you play with me?_

he can see her in the reflection of the mirrors in the halls and they shatter as he casts glances towards them, eyes wild and teeth and grimace wilder  
she plays hot and cold with him and he relaxes, just enough to let himself play too


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of the prosetry

he pulls a truth out of her and knows her while she skins her nails into him further  
  
all the way to the honeymoon suite

she twists him and he knows her and it's more than any two humans could ever do  
it's intimate in a way that's deeper than that  
more violent than that  
more unholy  
unholy  
unholy  
than that

it's something deeper than just skin and bones, it's feral and it's thirsty and it's eager and it's wanting to have something so wholly (unholy) consume you  
a love that hurts and aches and breaks and scratches and heals and holds  
they know that feeling well and short of consuming each other whole that's simply what they do

it's about having someone know you so deeply it hurts and how for helen and jon that's something they quite enjoy


	3. Chapter 3

he calls her michael in the most pitying affectionate seething way because he can see that the distortion was him and was never him and was always her and never has been  
it's just a soft, smug

 _Michael;_ testy, as if she's about to get on the very edge of his nerves  
and the grin that she has in response following the surprise and the laugh following that is music to his ears, a sound that's pain and echoing and hurt to anyone else

but to him, it's home

what is a distortion to an Archivist but a perfect foil, a counterpart of lies and twisting to the embodiment of knowing and branching

it's his distortion

(always has been and never will be)


	4. Chapter 4

he loves her as he loves himself

which is to say;

it's the deepest combination of disgust and anger and fear and hatred and something more on top of all of that

it's the pride

of knowing what you are and how you're better than anything else  
she's the only thing on this earth that's capable of being his equal  
and for a few minutes, hours, she's the only thing on this earth

jon might be just enough conceited to feel for a second that if the rest of the world is not being known by him, it just crumbles apart until it's ready for him to step out into again  
and for the time being it's just her, michaelhelendistortion and the honeymoon suite and crimson and biting and knowing and eventually, it feels like it's not even that

there's no difference between him and her  
it's just them


End file.
